Thursday, November 11, 2010

5000 Question Survey - Part 2...

Yet another boring day at work, so I suppose I will do a bit more of this. One of these days I should actually blog about something useful :P

Part Two
101. What does happiness/joy feel like physically?
-Like gravity is about 5x's less than normal. Everything in the world seems lighter and you feel more at ease.

102. List five people you love starting with the one you love the absolute most.

-If I were to limit it to only 5 people it would be my family... So I will group some.

A Mom/Dad

B Brittney/Brianna/Bradey

C Beth

D Jesse/Jeremy

E Dave/Adam/Todd/Becki (They have become my second family)


103. How many movies have you gone to see this month?
-I am going to guess maybe 4 or 5. I watch random stuff at random times, it's just too easy with everything stored on my computer.

104. If you could have 3 wishes...but none of them could be for yourself, what would you wish for?
-That my siblings, parents and friends continue to have a wonderful life and that their wishes come true.
-That cars switch over to an alternate fuel source.
-That the economy become stable and sustainable.

105. In what ways do you relax and de-stress when you are really tense?
-To be honest very little of it has to do with what I do. Physical contact seems to snap me out of it the easiest and fastest. A rub on the shoulder/back, leaning their head on me, or in the case of Princess just laying on my lap is enough to instantly make the world feel right again.

106. How much money would it take to get you to drive to school naked in the springtime and get out of the car?
-Give me $10,000 and I would do it assuming I can't get in any trouble for public indecency.

107. Have you ever killed an animal?
-Nope

108. Have you ever lost someone close to you?
-Not extremely close to me that I can remember. My Grandpa died when I was young, and apparently him and I had a blast together, but I don't remember anything about him - just bits and pieces like us sitting in the rocking chair reading a book.

109. What do you think of cloning?
-Sounds pretty sweet to me.

110. Do you read or watch TV more often?
-Lately watch more TV, but this flip-flops.

111. With all this talk of terrorism going around are you willing to sacrifice rights and freedoms for increased safety?
-Heck no

112. What is the punishment you would come up with for Osama Bin Laden if you caught him alive?
-Slowly tear his balls off and then throw him in a pen with a pack of wolves.

113. Have you ever named an individual part of your body?
-No lol

114. Have you ever been on the radio or on TV?
-Errrr not that I can recall.

115. Have you ever won a lottery, or sweepstakes?
-Nope

116. Have you ever won a contest or competition?
-Yeah

117. Do you like to watch The Joy of Painting show with Bob Ross (check out this link if you don't know who he is. Also please note me if you notice the link is broken) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Ross_(painter)?
-Never have, but I know who he is.

118. Do you know what your grandparents and your great grand parents did for a living?
-Farmers

119. Is there anything really interesting in your family history?
-I am related to Tim Allen (Although distantly)

120. Is there anyone you trust completely?
-Absolutely. There are about 3 people in my life that I can trust with anything

121. Have you ever lost someone without having the chance to say goodbye?
-Not yet

122. How do you feel about women in politics?
-What about it? I think women would do just a good a job as a man would.

123. Would you rather have an indoor Jacuzzi or an outdoor pool?
-Outdoor pool! I can buy the jacuzzi later in life ;-)

124. What things are you interested in that you study or read about on your own?
-Various programming languages I guess... Other than that I mostly read fantasy novels for my entertainment.

125. Would you consider yourself to be intelligent?
-I would

126. Would you consider yourself to be wise?
-I think so

127. Have you ever given or received a lap dance?
-Nope

128. Have you ever spoken to a homeless person?
-I have spent several nights helping out in a homeless shelter

129. Would you ever creep into the subway tunnels to go exploring?
-Eh, probably not

130. If you could add 70 years to your life but only by making some random person die 70 years sooner would you?
-Random person huh.... Let's see, if it is truly random there is an extremely low possibility of my knowing the person in real life, sure why not.

131. Can you finish any of the following lyrics?

A: Nothing to kill or die for... except cake.

B: Late comings with the late comin' stretcher... dude.

C: I could make a film and make you my star... pimp.

132. Were you ever with someone while they died?
-No

133. Would you rather be a world political leader or a rock star?
-Rock star. Political leaders take way too much heat

134. Have you ever given someone a love letter that you wrote?
-Nope :-/

135. Have you ever sent someone a surprise though the mail?
-I have

136. Are you looking forward to any concerts right now?
-Nothing right at this moment

137. Of all animated movies, which is the best one you've ever seen?
-Too tough to pick one.... Robin Hood/Aladdin/Sword in the Stone would be top of the choices though

138. What are the best bands or songs to listen to while driving?
-Depends on the mood. Either rock songs or pop songs.

139. What do you think is the most amazing thing that anyone has ever accomplished?
-Birth. Without that we wouldn't be

140. What could a member of the opposite sex do to impress you?
-Take initiative rather than expecting the guy to always initiate.

141. About how many emails do you get a day?
-Average of about 50

How many of those emails are junk mail?
-About 15

How many of them are forwards?
-About 2

142. What's your favorite thing to do online besides write in your diary and hang out at this site?
-Read my gadget blogs for the latest tech news

143. Do you believe Kurt Cobain (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kurt_Cobain) killed himself or was it a conspiracy?
-Ask me if I care

144. Have you ever though about hitchhiking across the country?
-Thought, yes. Plan on ever doing? No.

145. Who would you bring with you on this kind of a road trip?
-Someone who likes to have fun but is level minded.

146. Of the following, which word best describes you: accurate, bold, charming, dependable
-I will go with.... Dependable

147. If you are single, at about what age do you think you will be ready to settle down and get married? If you are married, how old were you at the time?
-I would be ready for marriage right now... Just haven't managed to find a relationship that lasts.

148. Do you often wonder, when you say goodbye to people, if it is the last time you will ever see them?
-That would be too depressing to "often wonder" that.

149. What movie are you most looking forward to seeing when it comes out?
-I suppose the new Harry Potter movie would be the next big one...

150. What is your quest?
-To find the Holy Grail. Now what is YOUR favorite color?

151. What is louder and more annoying: 200 adults talking or one four-year-old screaming?
-200 adults talking

152. Do you believe the stories about planes, boats and people mysteriously disappearing into the Bermuda triangle?
-Sure

153. Who are you the most jealous of?
-Troy/Beth. Would love to be married to someone I love with a house of my own.

154. What is the happiest way you can start your day?
-With an electric shock to get me out of bed...

155. Do you ever have moments where you feel like everything is all right in the world?
-Absolutely. Love it when Brittney/Brianna/me just curl up on the couch and watch a movie or some TV. Must be that human contact thing again, it just feels... comfortable.

156. Who thinks that you are offensive?
-No one that I am aware of

157. If you had to teach a class in something, what would you be able to teach people?
-Basic programming skills

158. Have you ever had a spiritual experience (an experience that cannot be explained by science)?
-Nope

159. Do you believe that this experience was truly mystical or do you think there is some scientific explanation for it, only you don't know what it is?
-There is a scientific explanation for nearly everything

160. Do you get offended easily?
-Not at all. If you manage to offend me, seriously think about what you were saying because it has to be waaaaaay out there to truly tick me off.

161. Would you still love and stay with your signifigant other if he or she had to have a breast or testicle removed?
-Yeah, that's just ridiculous not to.

162. Do you believe in fate or free will?
-Free will with a dash of fate

163. Do you believe that only boring people get bored?
-Heck no

164. Can life change or are we all stuck in vain?
-Life can always change, it is what you make it after all

165. What changes are you afraid of?
-For the most part I handle change pretty well. If placed in a new situation I can usually adapt.

166. Are you a day person or nocturnal?
-DAY. Come night I am exhausted and ready for bed

167. What one CD could you listen to for an entire week (no mixed CD’s, it must be an album)?
-Most of this week I have been listening to Adelitas Way since I had never heard them before and rather like their album.

168. Which is worse, working in retail, food service, or an office?
-Retail! People are dumb as can be

169. What's the coolest job you ever had?
-Probably this one

170. What is one central idea that your thoughts seem to come back to?
-Relationships and wanting someone in my life

171. Have you ever wanted to be an actor/tress?
-Nope

172. If you had the power to control one person and make this person do anything you wanted for a whole day, who would you pick and what would they do?
-That's just weird...

173. What star sign are you and what is your sign like?
-Gemini and it is like an explosion of awesomeness.

174. Did the Blair Witch Project scare you?
-Never saw it

175. Are you in constant fear of death?
-Nope

176. Does fear of death keep you from building a life?
-Not even close

177. Do you like all your movies to be in wide-screen?
-Yes

178. Are you a fan of any comic books?
-Not really. Tried reading some a few years ago, didn't really get into them

179. At what age did you attend your first funeral?
-5 I think was when my Grandpa died

180. What do you smell like (lotion, cologne, sweat)?
-Normal me smell?

181. What are your greatest sources for wisdom?
-Google, my parents, and random thoughts that pop into my head from unknown sources

182. When you were little, where did your parents tell you babies come from?
-The stork? I never asked

183. What is your favorite band?
-If I HAD to pick only one - Saving Abel

184. What's the best cheesy 80's song?
-Errrrr.... *Mind blank*

185. What's the best kind of movie to see on a date?
-I am a fan of action, but am not adverse to seeing romantic comedies

186. Do you like to sit in the front, middle or back of the Movie Theater?
-Middle, as close to center as possible :-)

187. Have you ever been inside an abandoned building?
-Yup

188. Under what circumstances would you agree to work for free?
-If everything else I wanted in life was provided for

189. Candles or strobe lights?
-Candles

190. Do you think the Lord of the Rings movies are true to the books or did Hollywood change the story too much?
-I think they were as accurate as they could be for such lengthy books. In order to be completely accurate and detailed the movies would have had to have been like 8 hours each...

191. When you see a stranger on the street does your first reaction lean towards thinking of this person as a potential friend or as a potential threat?
-Depends on their posture

192. Is it natural for human beings to fear and distrust each other, or is it cultural?
-Cultural. Italians appear to be very trusting and will greet anyone with a warm welcome.

193. What do you really want to buy?
-A house, but now that my computer has been determined to be too old to run some of the newer games I am thinking that comes first...

194. You have to choose. Would you be happier marrying someone rich for their money or living in the streets and subway tunnels with someone you love?
-Why can't I choose a happy middle? I don't want to spend my life on the streets because it would make me feel like a failure as a husband, but I won't marry someone unless I love them.

195. If someone wanted to understand you what book could they read that would help?
-Uhhhhh not sure that I have come across one that works well to describe me yet.

196. Do you think it’s odd that Americans have freedom of religion and yet call themselves 'one nation under god'?
-Sure now that you mention it

197. In what sense are you a minority?
-I dunno... I am a guy who is looking for a long lasting relationship over a quick hookup I guess.

198. Are you anti social?
-The past 2 weeks I have been... Really want to change that, starting to feel like I am losing touch with people...

199. Do you photograph well?
-Overall I think so, but I tend to have a goofy smile

200. Do you think that human beings would survivor through a nuclear winter?
-I don't think we would be able to keep enough clean food around to sustain any kind of a population.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Novembeard

So for this month I have chosen to join in on No Shave Novembeard. I have a couple of friends who were going to do it, and they convinced me to join them. I also managed to drag my co-workers into it as well, although they are more-so having a competition to see who can go the longest before their wife forces them to shave.

I am a week in, and already have far more hair than I can stand. My face itches like crazy, and I am constantly rubbing my chin just to play with my facial hair. Hopefully in a couple of days that all stops.

The good news is I don't look absolutely terrible yet, but I don't look fantastic either. Most of my hair started out dark brown, but over the past couple days it has shifted to the familiar half brown/half bright orange...

I am thinking come the end of the month though I might try grooming it into some sort of reasonable facial hair look, but I don't have a clue what I should try. Ideas on what I should do?

TL;DR - A Bunch of MySpace Style Survey Questions

Because I am incredibly bored at work and cannot come up with anything better to do, I might as well post answers to random questions! There are supposedly 5000 of these questions. Not certain that I will ever finish them all as my only real goal here is to kill time until I get to go home, but since my goal is to consider this blog as a bit of a personal diary I might as well be honest to myself with these answers :-P

1. Who are you?
-Brenton

2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you?
-Family/close friends are #1 in my life.
-I tend to be distrustful of people I don't know really well, which comes across as me being shy.
-I am a problem solver, it's just how my brain works.

3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing?
-Work (Which I *should* be doing right now)
-Really random stuff (Video Games, Movies, Books, Photography, Sports, Friends)

4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time).
-I loved the micro-controllers EE lab I had. And the web development class.
-I despised Intro to Numerical Computing.

5. What is your biggest goal for this year?
-My goal for this year was to get a car, which I have accomplished.
-My biggest goal for next year is a place of my own to live in.

6. Where do you want to be in 5 years?
-Married. That is the one recurring thought that seems to dominate constantly...

7. What stage of life are you in right now?
-Things are beginning to settle down. Finally have that "grown up" feeling.

8. Are you more child-like or childish?
-I tend to be child-like which is why kids seem to love me I think.

9. What is the last thing you said out loud?
-It's eerily quiet in here when there are only 3 people...

10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now?
-Your Arms Feel Like Home - 3 Doors Down

11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes?
-Nope.

12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same?
-Life would be boring if there weren't valleys to contrast the hills. On an average, I would say overall better day by day.

13. Does time really heal all wounds?
-Yeah, it just sometimes takes a lot longer than we hope.

14. How do you handle a rainy day?
-Either play in the rain, or snuggle up inside and watch a movie/read a book.

15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights?
-Tangled holiday lights are a complete pain in the ass. Luggage would be a bit of a speed bump during a trip, but it would also be an excuse to completely update the wardrobe.

16. How is your relationship with your parents?
-Excellent. I wish I had more of a chance to see my Dad though.

Will you miss them when they are gone?
-Absolutely.

17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you?
-A lot more aware than what I let on at times. I tend to be very observant, but sometimes it's funnier if I pretend like I didn't notice something.

18. What is the truest thing that you know?
-Life is what you make of it. Don't sweat the little things, and be elegant with the big things.

19. What did you want to be when you grew up?
-Ever since high school a software engineer. Prior to that I don't remember.

20. Have you ever been given a second chance?
-More than I deserve. But they have all been worked for.

21. Are you more of a giver or a taker?
-Giver.

22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind?
-I try to be as open as possible. But I don't make large decisions where I haven't tried thinking through every possible outcome. It's a bit of a character flaw that makes spontaneity difficult, but rarely do I make bad decisions this way.

23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you?
-I really haven't had a whole lot happen to me. No broken bones, no stitches... I would probably have to go with burning my hands on the grill when I was really young, but I don't remember any of that, just the scars that remain.

24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you?
-Oiy... Personal diary moment for sure here... Forcing myself to accept being just friends. In the end the effort was certainly worth it, but admittedly sitting back and watching the engagement was rough. Talking about and helping with the wedding planning was a ton of fun, but for the first few months felt like I had the wind knocked out of me each time. And the wedding day itself was a massive mixed bag of emotions, but thankfully by that point it was all excitement and happiness with a dash of wanting someone of my own to be growing closer with.

25. Who have you hugged today?
-No one. Haven't given/received a hug in quite a while...

26. Who has done something today to show they care about you?
-No one really. My day has consisted of work, and killing time.

27. Do you have a lot to learn?
-Anyone who say's they don't have a lot left to learn is a fool. There is so much happening around us that we will never individually fully understand, the potential for learning will always be there.

28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be?

A.) Control my daily activities eventually leading to a slimmer toned body.

B.) Be able to comfortably engage in conversation with random strangers.

C.) Learn to care less about what others think of me and just be myself.

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel?
-How others make me feel. Unless you have an amazing ability to remember minute details such as exactly what someone says, your emotional feelings will always leave a stronger impression.

30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship?
-Trust
-Mutual Love
-Common Interests

31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die?

A.) Get married

B.) Have kids

C.) Travel the world - Specifically Southern Italy, Greece, Hong Kong, Japan, England, Hawaii, Germany, Spain

32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? Well since it would have to be pretty severe that I would prefer I die than have to do it I can really only think of 1 thing...

A.) Inflict harm to a loved one.

B

C

33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause?
-Not at the moment. I typically don't have any particular cause that I have always supported.

34. What does each decade make you think of:

The 19..

20's: Old timey photos

30's: Depressed old people

40's: The wild west

50's: Grassroots movements

60's: Nature activists

70's: Drugs

80's: Alcohol

90's: Classic pop music. The boy-band age.

2000 (so far): Age of technology

2010's: Change

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why?
-The 2000's, since technology is a huge part of my life.

36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song?
-Toooo many to choose from. Pick something by The Eagles.

37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country?
-U.S.A. - Obama

If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be?
-Keep science at the forefront. It is a huge driver in innovation and a key to ending the recession.

38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night?
-I don't watch "live" TV. I download the shows I want to watch.

39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why?
-The Beast. Difficult to get to know the "real" me, but once you do I am one of the nicest guys you will meet.

40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout?
-Nope

41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat?
-Fly

42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night?
-It is based on the refraction angle of the light as it travels through out atmosphere. At a specific angle it is a wonderful shade of blue, and during night the refraction angle allows for no light to travel to our eyes. /EndBSAnswer

43. What does your name mean?
-Greek God.

44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space?
-Outer Space. The ocean has some freaky shit in it lol

45. Word association

What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word:

Air: Bird

Meat: Cow

Different: Lindsey Lohan

Pink: Singer

Deserve: Revenge

White: Me

Elvis: Uh-thankyaverymuch

Magic: The Gathering

Heart: Compassion

Clash: of the Titans

Pulp: Orange

46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be?
-I don't have a strong desire to speak to the dead.

47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive?
-Pierce Brosnan :-D

48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday?
-Nope. Don't have that kind of free time.

49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do?
-A power generator with a TV and an Xbox 360.

50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved?
-Not that I can recall...

51. Make up a definition for the following silly words...

Fruitgoogle: The act of Googling a famous gay person.

Ambytime: The act of calling an ambulance for a fun ride anywhere.

Asscactus: When a prickly cactus becomes stuck to your ass.

52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands?
-Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

53. What was your favorite toy as a child?
-LEGO's!

54. How many TV’s are in your house?
-*Counts in head* 4

55. What is your favorite thing to do outside?
-Depends on the season...

56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow?
-OMG it's a rainbow...

57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true?
-Yep

58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader?
-Nope

59. What is your idea of paradise?
-Kicking back on a warm beach, light breeze blowing, sunny, secluded area, cuddling with a woman.

60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like?
-Eh, my faith is a bit shaken at the moment. I don't believe that he/she/it intervenes in life, but the possibility that they set off the big bang is always there since we can't ever know what happened at exactly time 0.

61. Do you believe in Hell?
-Nope

62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't?
-Been in Nevaries Auditorium when there is no crowd or security around. We were the first and only group of students ever allowed in the Papal Auditorium alone.

63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done?
-Beats me...

64. Are you a patient person?
-Extremely. I will wait for a long time for a plan to come together if need be.

65. What holiday should exist but doesn't?
-Decembeer. The coldest day of winter shall be devoted to sitting at home with alcohol to stay warm.

66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does?
-Festivus. It's dumb.

67. What's the best joke you ever heard?
-Heck if I can remember.

68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been?
-Italy.

69. Is your hair natural or dyed?
-Natural.

70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front?
-A select few people know most things about me.

71. What is under your bed right now?
-A ton of crap

72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home?
-Home. Screw flying monkeys.

73. If you drive do you frequently speed?
-Usually 5 MPH over.

74. What is the world's best song to dance to?
-Anything with a nice easy beat that my 2 left feet can follow lol

75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone?
-Technically I think it was a techno-DJ-mix.

76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers?
-Disney!

77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo?
-Wolves!

78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic?
-Not a terribly great one, but I have my moments.

79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off?
-I highly doubt it. I think the mass of the Earth would continue to allow for enough gravitational pull to keep my feet planted.

80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? Sex. lol I don't know

81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? The right to bear arms. Screw that, lets make this a gentleman's dual.

82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole?
-Equator.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television?
-Watching music. Although I listen to a lot of music, I still enjoy the escape that TV brings. It's one of very few moments where my brain is able to calm down and take a breather.

84. What do you think makes someone a hero?
-Outstanding character in the face of adversity.

85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in?
-Sword in the Stone. Merlin would be f-ing sweet!

86. Name one thing that turns your stomach:
-Lots of blood.

87. What was the last thing you paid for?
-Call of Duty: Black Ops

88. Are you a coupon clipper?
-Nope

89. Get anything good in the mail recently?
-Not really... All junk mail ever since I got my car.

90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling?
-Sailing.

91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. So...

Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends?
-If the same molecules are being used in the reconstruction and all memories are in-tact, yes it is the same person.

92. What insects are you afraid of?
-Giant ass spiders.

93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say?
-*Shrug*

94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn?
-Uhhh... I have a pretty common wardrobe.

95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be?
-Lasagna

96. What are your parents interested in?
-Heck if I know. They don't seem to do much really.

97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet?
-No, that's weird.

Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal?
-Nope

98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans?
-Plans. They force you to think about what you truly want and come up with an idea to accomplish it.

99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest?
-When I am full of life?

100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring?
-Assuming that this trip is planned and that I am only spending 1 night... Tent, Sleeping Bag, Food.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Changing Tides

I know I had pledged to update this weekly, if nothing else but to have some sort of sanity check (Hint: I failed :-P), but since I have never done a consistent journal in my life before remembering to update this is still a bit of a foreign idea.

I discovered something about my personality this week.  I'm not sure it is a trait that I like or dislike about myself, but it certainly fascinates me.  My interests and how I spend my free time while I am alone are intrinsically tied to whomever I am spending most of my time around.

Around Beth I become more of an artsy intellectual, spending my free time looking at art and taking pictures, reading, talking more and watching movies.  Around Jeremy I become a social butterfly of sorts, doing far more group activities than is typical for me.  Around Jesse I tend to more freely talk with others about what is going on in my life, and I focus on technology a lot more than I otherwise would.  Around Amanda my focus shifts towards sports, be it volleyball, softball, rollerblading, basketball, etc.  And when I am mostly secluded I focus almost exclusively on video games.

The timing is uncanny.  There is no good reason why I can't read books year-round, or participate more frequently in group activities, or even find some kind of physical activity to occupy my time... But I don't.  As I said before I am not certain if I like or dislike this about myself, but the more I think about it the more I am convinced that it is true.  Begs the fantastic rhetorical question of "who am I?"  At the moment, I would have to answer a chameleon of sorts.  Someone who tries to blend into any situation, and the best way to do that is to embrace whatever surrounds you at the time.  It's one of the reasons why I get along well with nearly anyone I meet, but it certainly makes getting to know the real me nearly impossible.  Heck, I don't even know who the real me is...

I know the tone of this is a bit of a downer, but really it is more of a fascination with something that I don't fully understand as of yet.  Thoughts? Ideas?


I'm on the outside
I'm lookin' in.
I can see through you
See your true colors.
Cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me.
I can see through you
See to the real you.