I discovered something about my personality this week. I'm not sure it is a trait that I like or dislike about myself, but it certainly fascinates me. My interests and how I spend my free time while I am alone are intrinsically tied to whomever I am spending most of my time around.
Around Beth I become more of an artsy intellectual, spending my free time looking at art and taking pictures, reading, talking more and watching movies. Around Jeremy I become a social butterfly of sorts, doing far more group activities than is typical for me. Around Jesse I tend to more freely talk with others about what is going on in my life, and I focus on technology a lot more than I otherwise would. Around Amanda my focus shifts towards sports, be it volleyball, softball, rollerblading, basketball, etc. And when I am mostly secluded I focus almost exclusively on video games.
The timing is uncanny. There is no good reason why I can't read books year-round, or participate more frequently in group activities, or even find some kind of physical activity to occupy my time... But I don't. As I said before I am not certain if I like or dislike this about myself, but the more I think about it the more I am convinced that it is true. Begs the fantastic rhetorical question of "who am I?" At the moment, I would have to answer a chameleon of sorts. Someone who tries to blend into any situation, and the best way to do that is to embrace whatever surrounds you at the time. It's one of the reasons why I get along well with nearly anyone I meet, but it certainly makes getting to know the real me nearly impossible. Heck, I don't even know who the real me is...
I know the tone of this is a bit of a downer, but really it is more of a fascination with something that I don't fully understand as of yet. Thoughts? Ideas?
I'm lookin' in.
I can see through you
See your true colors.
Cause inside you're ugly
Ugly like me.
I can see through you
See to the real you.
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